{"product_id":"attempted-murder-in-the-cereal-aisle","title":"Attempted Murder in the Cereal Aisle","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis shirt commemorates the greatest criminal investigation that never happened: three crows standing in the cereal aisle, looking suspicious enough to make a security professional question their career choices.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSlip it on and you'll immediately become 14% more mysterious. Grocery store employees will nod respectfully. Crows will recognize you as \"that human.\" \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFeaturing premium levels of dry humor and an alarming amount of corvid confidence, this shirt is scientifically engineered* to make strangers point, laugh, and then explain to their confused spouse that a group of crows is called a murder.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e*Science in this case refers to someone saying, \"That's actually pretty funny.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchorContainer\" data-end=\"1222\" data-start=\"1204\"\u003e🌲 Product Details\u003cspan class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchor\" aria-hidden=\"true\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1278\" data-start=\"1224\"\u003e✨ Soft, everyday tee with a comfortable, lived-in feel\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1361\" data-start=\"1280\"\u003e🌿 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (heather colors contain a touch of polyester)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1407\" data-start=\"1363\"\u003e👕 Classic unisex fit for easy, relaxed wear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1460\" data-start=\"1409\"\u003e🧺 Lightweight and breathable for warm days outside\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1520\" data-start=\"1462\"\u003e🎨 Durable print designed to hold up through years of wear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1653\" data-start=\"1522\"\u003e🌲 Designed in the Berkshires, Massachusetts — where even a quick trip for breakfast can turn into an unexpected wildlife sighting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-is-only-node=\"\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-end=\"1929\" data-start=\"1655\"\u003e🌲 Each order is made just for you, which means it takes a little extra time to get it to your door. 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