Attempted Murder in the Cereal Aisle

This shirt commemorates the greatest criminal investigation that never happened: three crows standing in the cereal aisle, looking suspicious enough to make a security professional question their career choices.

Slip it on and you'll immediately become 14% more mysterious. Grocery store employees will nod respectfully. Crows will recognize you as "that human." 

Featuring premium levels of dry humor and an alarming amount of corvid confidence, this shirt is scientifically engineered* to make strangers point, laugh, and then explain to their confused spouse that a group of crows is called a murder.

*Science in this case refers to someone saying, "That's actually pretty funny."

🌲 Product Details

✨ Soft, everyday tee with a comfortable, lived-in feel

🌿 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (heather colors contain a touch of polyester)

👕 Classic unisex fit for easy, relaxed wear

🧺 Lightweight and breathable for warm days outside

🎨 Durable print designed to hold up through years of wear

🌲 Designed in the Berkshires, Massachusetts — where even a quick trip for breakfast can turn into an unexpected wildlife sighting.

🌲 Each order is made just for you, which means it takes a little extra time to get it to your door. Crafting our products on demand, rather than in bulk, helps us reduce waste and stay true to our love for the great outdoors. Thanks for choosing a more mindful way to shop.

Size guide