Frog's Lazy Day

A lazy day? Oh, darling, let’s not be so crude. Fern the Frog doesn’t do lazy—he indulges in a day of refined leisure. There’s a difference, you see.

Draped in his plush robe (why settle for less?), Fern is the picture of sophistication as he lounges by the fireplace, jazz humming softly from his record player, a perfectly crafted latte in hand. In his mind, he is a true connoisseur of the finer things. To everyone else? He’s just a frog in a robe, sipping a rather peculiar latte.

But of course, this isn’t just any latte—it’s delicately spiked with a splash of brandy and topped with exquisitely candied flies. Because why settle for ordinary when you can have exceptional?

This tee is for those who appreciate the finer things in life—good music, good company, and a well-earned day of self-care. Whether you're curling up by the fire, sipping something warm (or strong), or simply letting the world turn without you for a while, Fern reminds you—true class is knowing when to slow down.

For Those Who Prefer Their Leisure With a Touch of Elegance:

• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²) – soft, breathable, and worthy of your refined sensibilities
• Pre-shrunk fabric—because some things in life should stay just as perfect as they are

Wear it. Sip slowly. And remember—good taste is timeless. ☕🎶🐸✨

Each order is made just for you, which means it takes a little extra time to get it to your door. Crafting our products on demand, rather than in bulk, helps us reduce waste and stay true to our love for the great outdoors. Thanks for choosing a more mindful way to shop. 🌲

Fern’s Lazy Day (As Told by Fern the Frog)

If there’s one thing I simply cannot tolerate, it’s an improper day of rest.

Some creatures take "lazy days" as an excuse to wear mismatched socks, drink lukewarm coffee, and lounge in blankets that—heaven help us—have not been properly fluffed. Ghastly.

I, however, believe in standards.

This morning, I awoke at the most civilized hour of precisely 10:07 a.m. I stretched, adjusted my plush robe (imported, naturally), and glided to the fireplace, where the warm glow of the flames awaited my arrival—as it should.

Next came the latte. Not just any latte—a brandy-spiked, perfectly frothed masterpiece, crowned with precisely three candied flies (because four would be excessive, and two would be tragic). I took a sip, sighed in satisfaction, and sank into my favorite velvet chair.

And then, the record player.

I selected a jazz classic—something smooth, sultry, utterly exquisite. The kind of melody that wraps around you like a silk scarf, whispering of smoky lounges and starry evenings.

As the first notes filled the room, I exhaled slowly, letting the weight of the world drift away. A proper lazy day requires ambiance, darling, and ambiance is an art.

For a time, everything was perfect. The fire crackled, the record spun, my latte was a dream. I was at peak leisure.

And then—a knock at the door.

I frowned. How dare the outside world intrude upon this masterpiece of relaxation?

Another knock. Then a voice—Scout the Squirrel.

“Fern! Open up! I need your opinion on something!”

I shut my eyes, inhaled through my nose, exhaled through my soul.

With the grace of a very patient nobleman, I rose from my chair and opened the door a mere inch. “Scout. Dearest. Please explain why you are interrupting what is, objectively, a perfect moment in time.”

Scout grinned. “You’re the fanciest guy I know. I need your help picking the best kind of jam to steal, er I mean borrow, from the humans’ picnic basket—strawberry or raspberry?”

I stared at him. Blinked. Took a sip of my latte.

And then, ever so gently, I closed the door.

Some matters are simply beneath me.

I returned to my chair, adjusted my robe, and let the music wash away the madness of the outside world.

And that, my dear friends, is how one properly enjoys a civilized lazy day. ☕🐸✨

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